Money for nothing, good times for free

As a longtime art collector, I was horrified but not surprised when someone bought a banana duct taped to the wall for more than $6 million. It was the product of a well-known art prankster, who profited mightily by the buyer’s taste (pun intended).

According to the august scribes of the New York Times, “Five minutes of rapid bidding that had started at $800,000 ended when the Chinese-born crypto entrepreneur Justin Sun placed the winning bid, besting six other rivals, which experts said was a sign that even a struggling market would spend big on spectacle.”

Looking at it from another angle, it’s an ugly reflection of the careless, wasteful and coldhearted egotism of our times. It’s just another stanza of an ancient theme: 

That ain’t workin’, that’s the way you do it

Get your money for nothin’, get your chicks for free.

Money for Nothin’ was released by Dire Straits in 1985. Thirty-nine years later, it seems crude, sexist and awful. By contrast, the duct-taped banana isn’t offensive per se – it’s just absurdly rich people having fun. 

Yet despite its offensive lyrics, Money for Nothin’ is a song about the travails of the working class.

We got to install microwave ovens

custom kitchen deliveries

We got to move these refrigerators, 

We got to move these color TVS

Ironically, the song and its successors propelled its author, Mark Knopfler, into the financial stratosphere. Now 75, Knopfler has an estimated net worth of $200 million. There’s money in everything, but not much for most of us. 

There’s money in everything, but not much for most of us. But so what?

But so what? On a bright, unseasonably warm November morning in our Westside home, we can sit on the porch and watch the dogs cavort happily in the front yard. Rather than doomscrolling about Trump and the Trumpscallions, we’re concentrating on happy times in the future – a granddaughter’s marriage in Mexico, a family reunion here in February and the unexpected delights of cleaning and sorting 50 years of stuff.

Latest find: a four-dollar certificate issued by the United Colonies in 1776 which entitles the bearer to receive “four Spanish milled dollars, or the value thereof in gold or silver, according to a Resolution of Congress passed at Philadelphia February 17, 1776.”

It’s signed by my triple great-grandfather Robert Hazlehurst. Its value today? Forget about the gold and silver – it’s just an ancient piece of paper, worth a few bucks to collectors. And Robert? He had an illustrious career, supported the American Revolution, was painted by Charles Willson Peale in 1782, fathered many children and lived the biblical span of three score and ten. Well done – but Grandpa, where’s my gold and silver??!!