Dear Readers,
Thank you to all of you who have sent in such thoughtful questions. I have enjoyed responding to each one.
We did not get a letter this week, but that’s ok. It takes a while for a new column to get established, especially an advice column that depends upon community participation. In order for this to really take hold in the Bulletin, we need more letters. PLEASE WRITE IN!!
In the meantime, here are some quotes from other advice columnists. Most of us tend to write long, reflective responses that we have painstakingly word-smithed. However, some of my favorite answers are of the short, snarky variety. Some of these have dates, but others I found randomly online and could not corroborate the date or source. I may have condensed the original letter or given an overview. For your enjoyment:
From Dear Abby (Jeanne Phillips) May 3, 1972 :
Dear Abby: About four months ago, the house across the street was sold to a “father and son” – or so we thought. We later learned it was an older man about 50 and a young fellow about 24.
This was a respectable neighborhood before this “odd couple” moved in. They have all sorts of strange-looking company. Men who look like women, women who look like men, blacks, whites, Indians. Yesterday I even saw two nuns go in there!
They must be running some sort of business, or club. There are motorcycles, expensive sports cars and even bicycles parked in front and on the lawn. They keep their shades drawn so can’t see what’s going on inside but they must be up to no good, or why the secrecy?
We called the police department and they asked if we wanted to press charges! They said unless the neighbors were breaking some law there was nothing they could do.
Abby, these weirdos are wrecking our property values! How can we improve the quality of this once-respectable neighborhood?
UP IN ARMS
Answer: Dear Up, You could move.
From Dear Carolyn:
Dear Carolyn,
My husband often brings guests home from work without any notice. What can I say?
Answer: That’s great, honey! What are you going to make?
From Dear Charlotte:
Dear Charlotte,
What’s the best method of removing scorched-on remains from a clothes dryer? My husband complains that our laundry comes out dingy and matted with gunky little balls ever since his hunting dog took a nap in the dryer when I wasn’t looking.
Need Them Sparkling
Answer: Dear Need, I have no experience in tackling a problem like this one. But I will suggest if you don’t have children already, please don’t ever.
From Miss Manners (Judith Martin):
Dear Miss Manners,
Is it rude to correct someone’s grammar at a dinner party?
Answer: Only if you wish to dine alone or are auditioning for the role of their least favorite person.
From a Victorian era advice column:
Q: Is it permissible to discuss personal ailments at tea?
A: Only if one wishes the biscuits to remain uneaten and the invitations to cease entirely.
From Dorothy Dix (1896):
Q: A young man recounted taking his date to dinner, the theater, and dancing, then inquired if it would have been appropriate to kiss her goodnight.
A: No. I think you did enough for her.
From Dorothy Dix (1920s):
Q: My fiancé wants to wait five more years before marriage. Should I be patient?
A: Only if you’re also willing to wait five more years for him to grow a spine.
From Carolyn Hax:
Q: What’s the secret to a long-lasting marriage?
A: Pin your differences to the fridge for perspective.
From If You Ask Me (Eleanor Roosevelt), September 1941:
Q: Would you have free hospital aid to all needy maternity cases?
A: Certainly. I would favor a reorganization of our whole medical system so as to supply complete medical care for those who cannot afford to pay for it.
Q: Did you ever say in any of your public utterances that you believed in racial intermarriage?
A: I have no recollection of what I said on this subject, but it is quite obvious that racial intermarriage has been going on among many races on the face of the earth for many, many years, so my opinion for or against it would be completely useless.
From Dr. Laura, January 20, 2015
Q: What do you think is the best way to handle a toxic family member?
A: Life is short. Don’t waste it on toxic people.
About Mrs. Hughes
Mrs. Hughes is the pen name of Raizel Weiss Heizer, a licensed professional counselor, officiant, sacred passage doula and grandmother in Colorado Springs. She also has a background in the performing arts. Send your questions on life, love, money, parenting, difficult neighbors, or any sticky situations to dearmrshughes@pikespeakbulletin.org. No topic off limits, though publication is not guaranteed. Use a pseudonym if you wish.
Have a question for Mrs. Hughes?
Send your questions on life, love, money, parenting, difficult neighbors, or any sticky situations. No topic off limits, though publication is not guaranteed. Use a pseudonym if you wish.
