The great 18th-century French diplomat Charles Talleyrand said of the exiled Bourbons, who sought to return the Monarchy after the French Revolution, that they had “learnt nothing and forgotten nothing.”
After four grumpy years in exile at Mar-a-Lago, Donald Trump seeks return and restoration. He still believes (or pretends to believe) that he won in 2020, blames everything bad on Biden and promises the return of the good days if he’s elected on Nov. 5. Gas for a buck and a half a gallon, lower taxes, tariffs that will revive American manufacturing…omfg, I can’t wait! Does he have a coherent plan to achieve his goal?
Old age conquers us all, and Trump is no exception. In common with many older Americans, he’s enslaved by the siren songs of social media. And while most of the scammers, schemers, fakers, pretenders and influencers who clutter our phones are just 21st century incarnations of Charles Ponzi, Trump is in a category of his own. He recognizes nonsense, pretends to believe it and uses it to inflame the faithful.
Does he really believe that immigrants were eating cats and dogs in Springfield, Ohio? Probably not, but it fits the anti-immigrant tropes of loyal Trumpistas, so go for it! And is he really the financial genius he pretends to be? His multi-billion-dollar empire may seem like a house of cards, but he somehow keeps it going. He uses cronies the way we use paper towels (ask Michael Cohen, Trump’s onetime fixer who did time for enabling one of his boss’s schemes) and employs an army of lawyers to keep himself out of the clink. He never admits defeat and loves to scam those who worship him – if he loses the election, just ask the suckers who invested in Truth Social.
If you think he’s weird now, wait till 2028
Yet Trump World will likely prevail regardless of the election’s outcome, drawing more once-respectable citizens like J.D. Vance into its clutches. Once you become a servile minion of the Grand Master, you must abide by his wishes. Fail to do so, and you’ll be cast out – unless you publicly repent and beg forgiveness. Then, like Nikki Haley, you’ll be restored and welcomed once again to the verdant splendor of Mar-a-Lago.
Can he actually be re-elected? Of course he can. It doesn’t matter that tens of millions of voters believe that he’s a crazy old man, ranting and raving like Grandpa after his third shot of whisky. His voters don’t notice his senile ramblings – they think he’ll be better than Biden, and much better than Harris.
Yet Trump is still shrewd, cognitive and able – just as Biden was at Trump’s age. But what about the next four years? If you think he’s weird now, wait until 2028.
But Trump isn’t our only age-related problem – we need to degeezify Washington. Over a third of the U.S. Senators are over 70, and about 70% are over 60. The Senate is a free and profitable old folk’s home, controlled by people who came of age in the 60s and 70s. Republican, Democrat … who cares? They may be doddering oldsters, but they’re making money and having fun in their twilight years. Good for them, but they’re inherently clueless about the lives of the generations that have succeeded them. Gen X, Gen Z, Gen Whatever – why don’t they just shut up and listen to their elders?!
Voters need to treat governments like corporations. Unless the CEO controls a voting majority of stockholders, he/she/they are shown the door well before 70. And sure, businesses need to cater to their aging customers, but we geezers are too tired and self-involved to figure out how to do it.
And if Kamala falls short, we need to survive until 2028 and find a leader who can sweep away Washington’s corruption and decay … Taylor Swift, of course! And if she’s not available, Travis Kelce will do – at 38, he’ll be too old for the NFL.