Dear granddaughter —
We are delighted to hear that you’re taking this next step in your life. I have been mentoring students as a college professor and college president for several decades. Here is some advice that may be helpful:
Set high expectations for yourself, yet reward yourself for reasonable achievements. Take what you do seriously, yet try not to take yourself too seriously.
Make room in your life for sunrises, sunsets, beautiful music, art, humor, fun, joy and love.
Here are other ideas:
1. Use your resources. The faculty, administrators, coaches, the health center and others are all there to help you on your intellectual and personal journey through college. Never hesitate to ask for help.
2. Recognize that you cannot do it all. You cannot play varsity soccer, edit the student newspaper, star in the musical at the campus theater, etc. Carefully choose your extracurricular activities and then work to excel at those.
3. Participate in class discussions and study groups. College provides opportunities to learn from talking effectively to groups of people.
4. Going to college puts you in the largest pool of people your own age that you will ever swim in. Get to know as many of your fellow students as possible over a wide range of race, religion, national origin, political and economic backgrounds. Work to see things from others’ perspectives.
5. Learn to write for both communication and persuasion. Every test, examination and term paper represent another chance to hone your writing skills. Above all, work to make your writing persuasive and interesting.
6. Don’t expect to automatically have a good time in college or university. The truth is, college life challenges many students academically and socially. You may have to work hard at finding people you like and want to spend time with.
7. Teachers and coaches understand that, when they hold people to high standards, they increase the likelihood that their students or players will excel.
Know your strengths and your weaknesses.
8. “Those who travel the High Road of Humility,” said former U.S. Sen. Alan Simpson, “are not troubled by heavy traffic.” Humble people don’t think any less of themselves — they just think of themselves less.
9. Optimists believe in breakthroughs. They are alliance-builders who don’t give up. The best students, like the most effective leaders, have a tough-minded optimism rather than naive optimism. They understand how things may be, yet they keep searching for possibilities.
10. Luck is when preparation meets opportunity. Cultivate luck. Remember, too, that those who fail to prepare, prepare to fail.
11. One’s moral compass is measured by how willingly you stand up for those who are voiceless and powerless. Be the person who brings out the best in your friends and colleagues.
12. Be careful about what you admire. Most of us unconsciously admire things that can corrupt our souls. If you admire money, you will never have enough. Admire good looks, and you will always feel ugly. Admire power, and you will end up feeling weak and afraid.
13. Expand your listening abilities. Hear both what is being said and what is not being said. Develop the art of asking questions, especially for second and third opinions. Don’t be afraid of new ideas — but don’t be afraid of old ideas.
14. Effective people seek out multiple mentors, apprenticeships and internships.
15. Be on time. If you can’t be on time, be early. This is a matter of respect and courtesy. You don’t want others to waste your time.
16. Creativity involves playfulness, resisting conformity and conventional thinking.
17. Know your strengths and weaknesses. Learn to compensate for your weaknesses. Learn from your setbacks, yet transcend shyness and unnecessary hesitation. Accept who you are. Try to live fearlessly in a world that will often be a fearful place.
18. Develop positive addictions: meditation, yoga, skiing, rock climbing, singing, dancing, playing a musical instrument, poetry, weaving, painting, photography …
19. Give others the respect that you would want. Celebrate the achievements of others. Help pave the way for as many as possible to succeed.
20. Learn from your failures and your successes.
21. Forgiveness and avoiding grudges are valuable habits. Learn to move on, “to rise above it.”
22. Encourage your optimistic karma. Effective students realize criticism and bad experiences are part of life, part of growing up and maturing, yet they minimize the negative and capitalize on positives. Don’t be shaken by momentary setbacks.
23. Be prepared to fight for your beliefs and values. If you have no great convictions or sense of purpose, find values you can have convictions about. Understand what you believe and why. Beware of simple answers. It is fine to become bold in what you stand for, yet be wary of what you might fall for.
24. A useful maxim says: “It’s nice to be important, yet it is at least equally important to be nice.” Even better — be nice, purposeful and consequential.
25. A former student, former Congresswoman Liz Cheney, told students you should: “Resolve to do what is right — even when it’s hard, even when you’re alone, even when you’re afraid — especially when you’re afraid.”
26. Gratitude is important. As physician and humanitarian Albert Schweitzer advised: “At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to thank with deep gratitude those who have lit the flame within us.” Thank your mentors and spark-lighters.
27. Never underestimate the magical role of tenacity. It is often the secret ingredient that sparks innovation, breakthroughs and achievement.
28. Celebrate the “hidden chaplains” who engage in quiet, yet glorious, acts of caring. These unsung heroes exist in virtually every organization, and they are often the indispensable glue that makes us human and keeps us together.
29. Taking risks is part of being a successful person. Most important decisions involve calculating the probabilities and weighing the knowns versus the unknowns.
30. When you are faced with difficulties, lean into them. When you are faced with challenging assignments, tackle the toughest ones first.
31. Be sure you share in the challenges and passions of your time. Live ambitiously, joyfully and generously. Be especially kind to yourself and your friends and family.
Tom Cronin was an interim president at Colorado College and a long-time president at Whitman College. He is the author or co-author of about a dozen books and a longtime Westside resident.