There is a grace to Laura that I can’t seem to capture in a picture, though I tried. I had her stand in different corners of her motel room, where the sunshine came through the curtained windows, attempting to catch her in the right angle of light to show you, readers, what I saw. Laura is originally from Louisiana and has a charm I associate with the South – which is, it turns out, hard to capture on an iPhone camera.
Laura and I talked while I worked (and failed) to get that photo: about her elderly and devoted emotional support dog, Honey; her dream of being a professional singer/songwriter; her worry she will lose the roof over her head and be forced to camp again.
Laura and her partner Rain have been staying in an old motel room on the north side of town after weeks spent camping on Colorado Springs’ Westside. A charitable organization put them in the motel and paid for their lodging for the first week, but since then they’ve been footing the bill themselves: $325 per week, Laura said.
But despite the high cost of motel living, Laura is glad to be there.
“We weren’t safe,” she said of their time camping. “People were putting donuts outside our tent because they thought Rain was a cop.”
Laura apologized repeatedly for the mess in her motel room, though it wasn’t actually messy, just very full of things. There was a bed in the middle of the room, made up tidily. Shoes, clothes, canned goods, other foods and assorted other items were stacked near walls and on every flat surface. It was only the essentials for daily life but put into a space that was designed for visits.
She said they’ve been there about a month, with the caveat that her timeline could be off.
“I have PTSD and anxiety, so I don’t remember dates well,” she said, musing, “Maybe it’s because I’m an artist, too.”
Laura said she recently started therapy after a woman who helped them get into the motel recommended it.
“She’d been abused, too,” Laura said. “She understood that I needed to get some support.”
Laura outlined the ordeals that have altered the course of her life, including a devastating fire and abusive relationships in both her childhood and adult life.
“I have a lot of trauma,” she said. “People who know me don’t know how I’m still alive.”
But while Laura is working to deal with the hardships in her past, the present keeps delivering them.
“We are just struggling,” she told me, describing how Rain has had difficulty finding work and her SSI money does not cover her living expenses – and is likely to be reduced further because she hasn’t met the reporting requirements.
“I’m scared to talk to them,” she said, meaning the SSI workers. “I don’t know how to play the game. I can’t remember numbers; I can’t remember dates.”
Safe. I want to be safe. – Laura
She said she has difficulty saving receipts and reporting her income and expenses the way she is supposed to, especially through repeated moves when she had to get out suddenly and leave belongings behind. A few times, she said, people threw her belongings away before she could come back to claim them.
She said she is currently working with an area agency to get Section 8 housing assistance. However, it is unclear when that assistance might become available for Laura and Rain.
In the meantime, to keep herself housed, Laura said she is borrowing from friends and family when she can.
“And I’ve held up a sign,” she said, almost in tears, as if confessing a shameful secret. Then she added, “Sometimes, I’ll sing,” and brightened somewhat.
Laura is a singer and songwriter and dreams of performing one day.
“I used to only sing in the shower, but people tell me I should share my music with the world,” she said.
Another subject that lights her up is Rain. Laura said she met him when she “saw this man with a thousand-watt smile” at a community outreach center in Louisiana.
“He has a goodness,” she said. “Love pours out.”
But that first time their paths crossed, neither made the first move to speak to the other.
“The second time I saw him I said, ‘That’s it. I’ve got to go see if he would like me to sit with him,'” she said, adding, “The Bible says, ‘seek and ye shall find.'”
Laura said neither of them expected a relationship to blossom, as they both were still “recovering from previous marriages,” and had each left material possessions and money behind to get out of their relationships. But love bloomed anyway, and the two decided to come out to Colorado together.
“He did well here in the past,” Laura said. “Plus, a lot of Louisiana is going to flood in the future; I’d rather be high and dry.”
But things have not gone as hoped since coming to Colorado Springs.
“I have not had a home to put my things in,” Laura said. She said she has heirlooms in storage in Louisiana that will be auctioned off soon if she’s not able to pay the storage bill.
I asked Laura what she would like her future to look like.
Laura said she and Rain have an idea for an environmental improvement business, but don’t have the money to start it. She said she would love to have an RV to go get her belongings out of storage and be flexible to do whatever she needed to do, like travel for business.
Speaking more broadly, Laura said, “I want a peaceful, healthy life where I can use the gifts I was given to love on people and make the world a better place,” adding, “I’ve been dubbed ‘Dr. Laura’ and I do love to help nice people and animals get well and stay well.”
She was quiet for a moment, and then she added, “Safe. I want to be safe.”
Laura offered to sing one of her original compositions to go with this story and decided on “Truly Blue,” a song about Rain rescuing her from an abusive situation. She played a recording on her phone of her singing the melody and sang a cappella harmony with herself.
Will you rescue me and save me, and keep me from harm?
You say you’ll protect me to the end and that keeps me warm.
Will you be there forever and hold me in your arms?
Thank God for you, you true and blue.