Welcome to the presidential race! On November 5th, the septuagenarian Donald Trump will face off against the octogenarian Joe Biden.
Their first debate was disconcerting, to say the very least. Trump lied…and lied…and lied some more. Biden dithered, stumbled and lost track of what he was saying. Neither seemed reasonably competent, let alone ready for the world’s most demanding job.
The reason: they’re too damned old. At 83, I understand what’s happening to my fellow oldsters only too well. As Taylor Swift sang,
Time won’t fly, it’s like I’m paralyzed by it
I’d like to be my old self again
But I’m still trying to find it
Swift’s song is about the uncertainties of youth, but it inadvertently describes the horrors of aging. When I was in my early 70’s, getting up at 6:30 every morning to ride 15 or 20 miles on the road bike, I assumed I’d be fit and healthy forever. A decade later, balance issues keep me off the bike and cognitive issues clog my brain.
I joke about it – “I sometimes forget a name, but I never remember a face!”- but I’m serious. We’re mortal, and some degree of cognitive decline strikes all of us in the mid- to late- 70s.
Biden has beaten the odds fairly often in his long political career. He first ran for president in 1987, but New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd knocked him out of the race by revealing that he was a serial plagiarist and fabulist. He kept going and finally made it to the finish line a third of a century later. He’s been a decent enough president, doing his best during the Pandemic and stimulating (or maybe overstimulating) the economy and dealing with multiple international crises.
They’re too damned old.
Meanwhile, Trump turned the Republican party into a vassal state of Trumpworld. Sensible Republicans like Liz Cheney were figuratively burned at the stake for daring to cross swords with the Maga Master of the Universe.
Despite what appears to be an exercise-free lifestyle, Trump on the stump is like the energizer bunny on steroids. He’s active, vigorous, alert and nonsensical. He traffics in absurd, easily disproved lies that the Maga faithful lap up like puppies. He’s a cult leader, not a politician.
Both Biden and Trump show unmistakable signs of such decline. Yet given that their parties are led by the supine, the clueless, the compromised and the fearful, it’ll be Joe vs. Don once again.
That is, unless Biden decides to join the reality-based community and ends his candidacy. Woo-hoo, we’d have fun, fun, fun! There are half a dozen well-qualified Dems who could toast Trump in a debate, including Colorado governor Jared Polis (should he decide to run). In any case, it’s time for Joe to go.
And President Biden, don’t worry! You’ll find something to do…ever thought of being a newspaper columnist? You don’t have to worry about being an idiot in print – your editor will protect you. But first things first – hire a ghostwriter to write your autobiography, get a fat advance, sleep late and let Kamala try to exorcize the orange demon.
And if Trump wins? My 84th birthday is on November 5th, so if my nascent dementia moves swiftly forward, I won’t even notice…too busy partying!
