For a journalist, there’s nothing quite as much fun as deflating the egos of elected officials. Granted, you can puncture a lot of overinflated balloons — but will the balloons pop? 

Most of the time, the apparently self-important buffoons that you target won’t pay you any particular attention. After all, you’re just an ink-stained wretch, albeit one with a laptop. 

In the long-vanished past, I frittered away six prime years on City Council — no salary, no benefits, no retirement pay. What was the matter with me??! 

I could’ve gotten a real job, embarked on a profitable career, retired in my 60s, moved to St. Petersburg and basked in the sun — but here I am trying to survive subzero temperatures and filling my day with meditations on city/county finances. 

Oh, well. Hope springs eternal, so I’ll buy a lottery ticket.

Announcing their approval of the county’s $491 million budget, the El Paso County Commissioners lavishly praised … themselves! They spoke of their frugality, their superiority to Denver’s scoundrelly spendthrifts and their strict adherence to the Taxpayer’s Bill of Rights.

That’s fine, but this taxpayer is acutely aware of the yearly flight of thousands of bucks in property taxes. Why are they so high? Because they’re impossible to evade and easy to collect, so just shut up and pay up, suckers!

shut up and pay up, suckers!

For those of us who live in the city, we get a double whammy, paying city taxes as well. The city budget is a modest $431 million, for a total hit of $922 million.

As the late U.S. Sen. Everett Dirksen once said, “A billion here, a billion there — pretty soon you’re talking real money!”

So, what do we get? A lot of crucial stuff; cops, firefighters, flood control, road and bridge maintenance, emergency services as well as thousands of well-paid civil servants (I should’ve gotten a job with the city!). 

City and county budget documents are general, not detailed. If you want to see where the county money actually goes, check out the monthly expenditures in the Gazette’s classified section — small print, but fun. 

The most recent included a payment of about $1.2 million to the Olympic & Paralympic Museum (a pass-through on Property Assessed Clean Energy programs deal — no worries), as well as $9,800 to the Venetian Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas. 

Probably some sort of convention or meeting, but here’s a tip. Next time, go to the Bellagio — the rooms are nicer, the slots are looser and the restaurants are better. 

And if you’d just declare a one-year property tax pause, I’d be there too …

 


 

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